A Poem

*ahem*

Collette
You are hot.
So hot.
Still so very hot.

Warren.
Blows.
So blows.
Still so very blows.

WHY.

Why, why why.

...why.

*bows for applause*

Our Wankers in Havana

Cat Empire recorded their album Two Shoes in Cuba.

Utter blow hards.

1000 Steps.

Your old friend The Student is in the midst of a healthkick at the moment, as free time allows me to try and get a fit before uni fires back into life and eats up all my time.

A well known, and rather steep, walking track out my way is the '1000 steps' - a walking track the works its way up into the forest. A few mates, and myself have been doing this track two or three times a week for the past few weeks.

I am by no means a fit person, but I think it's probably not cool when i am stuffed after about ten steps. Regardless, my unwavering desire to actualy subject myself to the torture, sometimes at 7am, is testament to sort of thing that goes on during January - the month of nothing.

On your way up, you pass people on their way down. They greet you with an empathetic look on their face as they pass you, aware of the build up of lactic acid in your thighs and calves as you climb step after step, and the vague 'why the fuck am I doing this?' thoughts in your head.

The Great Outdoors website chooses to highlight a more unusual feature of the track:

Kokoda Track Memorial Walk
Upper Ferntree Gully, Dandenong Ranges VIC

Located in the Dandenong Ranges, a 40 minute drive north east of Melbourne, this is a one to two hour uphill walk of medium difficulty which takes you through the State Park. The walk incorporates 1000 steps and has 13 commemorative plagues along the way.

Heathen joggers be warned.

I never sugarcoat a shakedown.

...and I mean never!

The later half of Friday was spent at the cricket - one day cricket. The Australian innings was pretty entertaining, the Sri Lankan one not so much. The bogan element was alive and well in the crowd, with the blue singlet in force. As were swarms of loud mouth 14 year olds in the formative years of the development of their mature male selves.

Okay. I'm approaching my mid twenties, as Cavalier reminded me during a round of golf on Friday morning. The tendancy is, even in my slightly older youth, to always say 'I was never like that' and 'we weren't such cocks when I was 14' - truth is of course, that we were.

But let it stand that some kids are just cocks.

When I was in my teens, I had misappropriated arrogance and alcohol as an excuse for public displays of wankery. These guys had mob mentality to make up for arrogance, didn't have alcohol as an excuse for two reasons; a) no one would serve them, and b) you cannot get pissed off mid-strength beer that costs $5.20 per glass anyway.

Oh, and one of them had a whistle.

Wankers.

Ghost of leader passed haunts Lennon.

Many like to lament (in my view sometimes unfairly) the federal ALP leadership of Mark Latham.

I, on the otherhand, like to celebrate the sweet justice that is karma.

From The Age:

"It was revealed today Mr Lennon received thousands of dollars worth of free accommodation when he accepted an upgrade to a six-star suite at Melbourne's Crown Towers during last year's spring racing carnival.

The upgrade came just days before Mr Lennon signed off on a $700 million internet gambling licence to James Packer."

Karma indeed.

World Series Grogblogging

No coloured uniforms, no white balls, no drop in pitches, no Kerry Packer.

Just me and Ruth having some beers.

We're the brash new television friendly version of the tired old grogblogging format!

dripping

Dear Heat,

Hey! Have I told you how much I love you lately? Seriously, I love you. I have missed you so much. Heck, I even flew to Queensland to see you in August.

But - and I want you to know it's a small thing - but I just want you to fuck off at night when I'm trying to sleep. Seriously, I have shit to do during the day that requires me being remotely alert, and I need sleep to do that.

You're sticking around till February, maybe March. This will work a lot better for both of us if you can take it easy at night - and remember, I still love you.

Love, The Student.

Our Differences

Encountering a figure of your past, only to find the only thing which hasn't changed is the single about them you hate most - is positively crushing.

Zoe from way back.

During the ABC's radio coverage of the Boxing Day Test between Australia and South Africa, from here in Melbourne - guest commentator and retired Australian womens cricket captain Belinda Clark mentioned Zoe Goss.

ZOE GOSS!

Way back in 1994 during a Bradman Foundation charity match, Goss famously (or perhaps not so famously since I'm going over this for you) got all conquering West Indian batsman Brian Lara out. Lara was bowled out by a girl, as a nation of cricket loving men swooned for the pretty Goss, with her shoulder length brown hair, pretty smile and playful sports skirt.

I am seriously dark on the fact that the internet seems to contain not one single image of Goss playing in this game, in order to aid my description of what made her such a spunk - apart from the fact that she had just messed up Brian Lara's shit.

Goss is 37 now, and is still playing for Western Australia. She was the toast of the cricketing world for a brief period, before becoming the answer to a sportsmans night trivia question. In true underpaid Australian sportwoman tradition, Goss went on to pose for an Inside Sport shoot some time following. Luckily, I am able to provide you with a copy of that below.

It is a crying shame that there isnt a shrine, online or otherwise to the wicket that helped spawn some of the tastiest fruit of tokenism Australia has seen.

Zoe Goss, I - and the twelve year old I, salute you.

there is more

The sort of optimistic aura that held me last new year has returned somewhat as I arrive in 2006.

The opportunity to cast bad habits, activities and people off as last years baggage is one I'm sure most of us look forward to.

Where 2003 was definatly craptactular, the better years are a little harder to pin down. 2005 was good to me, the same way 2004 was. I guess if you make it to the end of the year alive, you're doing okay - I'll say that 2005 was good, great even, but it's hard to quantify what makes it so.

There's a few non descript big events coming up for me this year, and similar to last new year, two big weddings on the horizon.

And... I'm still single.

And lets not forget that university is stil... going... seemingly... forever.

Have a great 2006 assorted readers.